Danica Should Break Up Old Boys Club

A woman driver's place is in the kitchen of the RV. Except for Danica Patrick, who is allowed to appear silhouetted on the mudflaps of my pickup truck.

If you agree, you should hope Patrick joins NASCAR next season.

If you disagree, you should hope Patrick joins NASCAR next season.

If you saw 59,000 empty seats at Daytona International Speedway last week, you know why.

NASCAR needs a turbo boost, and nobody has turbos like Patrick. Her mere presence arouses a passion no other sports figure can touch.

"I just don't think it's a sport for women," Richard Petty famously said. "It's good for them to come in. It gives us a lot of publicity. It gives them publicity. But as far as being a real true racer, making a living out of it, it's kind of tough."

The King is right. Patrick has as much chance of winning next year's Daytona 500 as he does of winning Miss USA. But watching her try would be a can't-miss story.

Or would you prefer more news about Jeremy Mayfield's (alleged) meth habit?

That's been the big story around the pits this year. If it wasn't Mayfield suspension, it was the economy crashing at every turn, TV ratings and attendance plummeting or cookie-cutter races brought on by those infernal Cars of Tomorrow.

That's why NASCAR closed the backstretch grandstand at the Coke Zero 400 last Saturday night. Even slashed ticket prices couldn't keep the stands from looking like a WNBA game had been scheduled.

If there was a quick fix, it would be Dale Earnhardt Jr. The Man with the Golden Name is having a worse year than GM, however, and there is no bailout in sight.

None of which means NASCAR is in danger of going the way of Arena Football. But the good times are no longer rolling.

Sounds like a job for Superwoman.

Calling Patrick that makes racing fans cringe, mainly because the only thing she's been super at is selling herself. But she's not completely Anna Kournikova in a helmet.

Beneath those vampy GoDaddy.com commercials is a legitimate enough driver. Patrick is currently fifth in IRL standings, and you can't get there on looks alone.

With her contract expiring this year, Patrick's agents at IMG are pondering her next move. IMG rarely leaves a penny unturned, and NASCAR would give their 27-year-old client far more exposure than the IRL.

Advertising Age estimates Patrick would bring $50 million in new sponsors to NASCAR. That seems a bit high unless she races topless, an idea I wouldn't put past the marketing department at IMG.

Danica Patrick Snapshots

Danica Patrick is IndyCar's most recognizable star, but also its most scrutinized one. The intense 27-year-old driver admitted she's consciously worked on controlling her emotions and "come into things with a different attitude." Click through to see more photos of Danica.

Chris OMeara, AP

Patrick poses for a portrait at Homestead Miami Speedway in Homestead, Fla., in 2008.

Jonathan Ferrey, Getty Images

Patrick attends the unveiling of Sports Illustrated's 2008 Swimsuit Issue in New York City.

Jamie McCarthy, WireImage.com

Patrick flashes a smile in pit lane at the Phoenix International Raceway in 2005.

Robert Laberge, Getty Images

Patrick walks the runway at the 10th Annual Gridiron Glamour show benefiting the HollyRod Foundation and SARRC in Scottsdale, Ariz., in 2008.

Michael Buckner, Getty Images

Patrick poses for a portrait at the Homestead Miami Speedway in Homestead, Fla., in 2007.

Robert Laberge, Getty Images

Danica Patrick makes an appearance at Spike TV's 2003 GQ Men of the Year Awards in New York City.

Jim Spellman, WireImage.com

Patrick gets serious at the Richmond International Speedway in Richmond, Va., in 2005.

Nick Laham, Getty Images

Danica Patrick arrives at the ESPY Awards in 2003.

Mark Mainz, Getty Images

Patrick is seen during a photo session prior to the 2007 Indianapolis 500.

Stan Honda, AFP / Getty Images

Patrick's best driving move would be to run the truck series or Nationwide races for a couple of years. And to start lifting weights. The cars are twice as heavy and the season is twice as long as she is used to, and better drivers than Patrick have struggled making the switch from open-wheel racers to NASCAR clunkers.

Then again, Sam Hornish Jr. also never posed two straight years for Sports Illustrated's swimsuit issue. That Vixen Driver routine isn't going to work when her chassis starts to sag, and Patrick knows she needs to expose herself while the exposing is good.

And can you think of a more intriguing party for a woman to crash than NASCAR? Attendance would jump appreciably just from the number of sociologists wanting to observe her entry into a world that prides itself on its moonshining roots.

I realize that's stereotyping the Good Old Boys, but white males who spend their vacations parked in the Talladega infield are not a politically protected species. Besides, I've been in enough infields to know nobody spends the down time between races reading Betty Friedan.

That said, NASCAR fans probably aren't any more misogynistic than any other group of sports fans. It's just that NFL fans will never have to seriously ponder the prospect of a woman leading the league in sacks.

You just know other drivers would be itching to trade paint with her. It would be an updated weekly version of The Battle of the Sexes between Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs.

NASCAR boss Brian France should make recruiting Patrick his mission in life for the next few months.

If she flops, it would be the biggest kick for male chauvinism since the Masters defeated Martha Burk. If she has any success, it would be a rallying point for half the world's population.

Either way, what does NASCAR have to lose except an increasingly empty feeling?

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

7-07-2009 @ 4:20PM

avengerguy35 said...

Man, I wish she'd go to F-1, then we'd never have to hear from the whiney biatch again. Give the high-end equipment to Sarah Fisher, the fans' choice!

7-07-2009 @ 4:41PM

nzcr14 said...

WHAAAAAAAAAATTT ???????????
Sarah FISHING has never even got a top 5 finish; let alone a win.
SARA FISHING has never exposed her body on any magazine like DANICA did. LOL.

7-07-2009 @ 5:11PM

obamaizamarxist said...

59,000 empty seats?! Ruh roh..

7-07-2009 @ 5:38PM

illsell4u said...

While I think she would bring in lots of money and butts in the stands we should put something into perspective here. Everyone likes to mention her standing in IRL. Right now it is 5th but that is not even close to being 5th in Nascar. We are talking about a form of racing that generally fields only about 20 cars with only 17 running a full schedule for the year. That would equate to a Nascar driver being ranked around 11th or 12th.
And yes, seeing her give an open mouth kiss to any of the Sprint babes they have bouncing around or Miss Daytona would be worth seeing even if she did not win a race.
mbl

7-07-2009 @ 7:03PM

geraldr5 said...

Danica is a whining pain in the rear. I see no reason why that should result in increased attendance.

7-07-2009 @ 7:34PM

MIKE,I know you do not follow INDY, but you know that i have. THAT'S MY F-1 RACING; just about the same type of cars as F1 cause i do not care for
THE POOR MAN TRACKS (aka road courses).
Anyway the 17 cars party at INDY racins has been over since season 09 started for INDY.
THERE HAS BEEN 33 CARS ON THE TRACK EVERY WEEK.
You may missed the news back in JAN. about the CHAMP SERIES AND INDY SERIES getting back togheter.
works for me...

7-07-2009 @ 8:13PM

You are correct, I do not follow it. But I actually did a little research prior to that post so I would not make a complete idiot of myself, Anna. There are only 18 drivers listed on the official IRL website that have raced all the races so far this year. There are actually 33 Nascar drivers that have raced in each Sprint Cup race. The INDY IRL race had 33 cars which is bt far the most they have had all year. The last 3 races had 20, 20, and 21 drivers respectively.
Any ways, she is basically number 5 out of a 20 or 21 car field is the way I figured it. That equates to about 11 in Nascar. Not that I would think she would be 11 in points. I would expect her to be more like 25-30 in her first two years if she made the jump to Nascar.
Just my opinion.
mbl

7-07-2009 @ 7:48PM

James said...

Sorry, Charlie....I mean nzcr14.....look at your stats. 20 cars at Richmond, 21 at Watkins Glen. No more than 24 at a race after Indy.

You pull Danica out of IRL, and the circus tents and clown shoes in Indianapolis disappear.....NASCAR will survive without Danica, but will the IRL? 59,000 empty seats is like the total attendance at any two races after Indy.....

7-07-2009 @ 8:04PM

WELL I'M NOT GOING TO ARGUE with you JIMMY cause i
missed the last few indy races right after the indyanapolis 500, but i will check in to.
I have been outspoken about DANICA staying at INDY.
I'M A FAN OF HER, castrovenes, franchini,M.ANDRETTI,
KANAN.
And i doubt she gonna achieve any top performance at nazcar.
She will be as bad as S HORNEY,and JP MONTANA AND franchini WERE.Even CARPENTER, VILLENUE ALMONDDIGGER
etc. etc did not achieve much in nazcar other than
be a revenue and publicity jewel for whayever team
she would step in to.

7-07-2009 @ 9:23PM

derek said...

I say give her a shot, NASCAR needs something to give its product a boost and I like to see what happens the first time her and kyle busch mix it up lol...she`d probably slap him to the ground lol

7-07-2009 @ 9:24PM

Mingo said...

that move would not hurt NASCAR since half the fans are woman. I don.t think she will make that move Its a big grind she don't want to make. It does look like she may be getting a ride with one of the two big teams in the IRA

7-07-2009 @ 10:02PM

Hello Robby Ed said...

Theres a huge diff between driving a NASCAR and an Indy Racer. They are mush bigger, heavier and tiring, so the "weak sister" claim will be a factor. The drivers are far more agressive and will sacrifice their car if they been cut off etc. Quite sure they would go after Danica. These are good old boy rednecks I grew up with lol. She is whiney and a little bitchy but she has proven she belongs. At Indy!!

7-07-2009 @ 11:10PM

jdbreeze1 said...

The entire article shows why Patrick needs to NOT go to NASCAR.

She needs to STAY in IndyCar, which is the toughest racing series on the planet, and help put the series back on top in this country. It's gaining on NASCAR in popularity but still needs work.

NASCAR is minor league racing, more people are realizing that now and hopefully that trend continues, but IndyCar can't afford to lose Danica.

7-07-2009 @ 11:11PM

Kim said...

I beg to differ with the author. NASCAR does not need Patrick nor any other new age next wonder child. The reason they have empty seats and slumping sales is simple....the current state of affairs of our economy. Have you heard? It's affecting everyone and everything now-a-days. Even NASCAR is not immune. I find this funny really. Why is it such a big deal that NASCAR isn't filling every single seat in the house? No one mentioned that more than half of the NFL games last year had slumping sales and seats available for every game. Hell, even the Super Bowl still had seats available for sale (at bottom prices for pro-football), the day of the big game. Our local pro-hockey team, The Blue Jackets have always had sell out crowds for every home game. This year, they were finally good enough to be in the running for the Standley Cup. Everyone of their games had opened seats this year and now they are talking about leaving Columbus because of it just after we built them a brand new multi-million dollar arena. Thanks boys! We Ohioans certainly appreciate your gratitude, now go to Canada where you belong!

This is not "news worthy." The economy is front and center in all of our lives. We have all had to cut back on things, even the rich aren't spending like they used to due to investment slumps. It is not cheap for a couple let alone a family to take off and travel to one of NASCAR's races. Most people can't even afford a vacation anymore. They are considered "luxaries" and many people who are struggling have discontinued taking trips to save money.

Danica needs to stay with IRL. I am a woman and SHE IS NOT the woman I want to represent my sex in NASCAR. I've said it many times before....you want a talented woman behind a Sprint Cup car? Hire Ashley Force. Now there's a talented woman, looks, brains and the braun to pull off being competetive in NASCAR. Danica needs to go away and continue teasing men with her "Go Daddy" commercials!

Kim

7-07-2009 @ 11:24PM

Also forgot to add that some of the reason for slumping ticket sales this season might also have something to do with all the rain shortened races and zero qualifying due to weather. No one is going to spend hundreds and possibly thousands of dollars to go see a NASCAR race and have your weekend ruined by rain. My friend went to Charlott and got screwed due to all the rain delays. He had to leave early to get back to work on Monday and since the race was run on Monday, he missed it and was out a ton of money. This could also be a factor worth mentioning. Again, it has nothing to do with loss of interest or a need for Ms. Patrick!

Kim

7-07-2009 @ 11:51PM

YES MIKE AND JAMES,
you guys are right about the shortage of cars still going on at INDY.I just done some checking in to.
A week before the indy 500 i heard the ESPN dude mentioning about the 33 cars at IRL. The week after the indyanapolis 500 was on and there was 33 cars in the field,so i assumed that the 33 were at every race.The IRL and CHAMP SERIES MERGING was also another detail in allowing me to think the 33 cars were racing every week.Obviously it's not so.I really never bothered to check thorougly the number of cars until today. I guess the 33 are there only at some races,probably for lock of funds and sponsorship.SORRY MY MESS UP.I had hoped that the merging would finally get ready of the weekly 20-+ car attendance and increase it to 30++.
NOT SO, NOT YET. THE IRL NEEDS DANICA.Only fools would let her go.

7-08-2009 @ 12:26AM

OBVIOUSLY THE POOR ECONOMY HAS HIT NAZCAR REVENUES.
Like BRIAN HITLER SAID; WE ARE DOWN BUT NOT OUT.
Since i ben living in fla. every time i showed at the track for the daytona 500 or the pepsi 400 AND
COKE 400, THE FRONT STRETCH, THE BACK STRETCH AND THE INFIELD CENTER WERE ALWAYS PACKED AND FULLED.
Last sunday at the coke400, the front stretch was packed, THE BACK STRETCH WAS COMPLETELY EMPTY EXCEPT
for the first 2 row of seats down below by the fence.
The INFIELD as low as $40 tickets to get in was a little more than half way filled.
THE PEOPLE ATTENDANCE SHORTAGE HAS BEEN AROUND 50 TO 60.000 respectevely for each race according to the local news and paper.

7-08-2009 @ 12:43AM

GEEZ, DAVID WITHFLEAS MUST HAVE A CRUSH ON DANICA.
HOW MANY FILES DID HE POST ABOUT HER SO FAR?
(i just realized was his file).

7-08-2009 @ 3:51AM

vlvocoupe said...

DANICA NEEDS TO STAY EXACTLY WHERE SHE IS.

7-08-2009 @ 10:03AM

chiss4 said...

Don't need her in the sport. Too many drivers scrambling for too few rides as it is. Let her go to F-1, go karts, dirt tracks or off road somewhere other than Nascar. She need Nascar more than Nascar needs her. Way too much baggage. Prima Dona! Not Nascar!!!

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